The summer has come to a close. I sailed a thousand miles around the Caribbean and trained a dozen new rescue divers. I have new friends from around the world, including South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and Sweden. All the boats have returned, and most of the staff has left. Those of us who remain are in charge of breakdown. Every piece of equipment, from the air compressors to the dinghies, gets cleaned and stored for the winter.

I am in charge of regulators. The regulator consists of all the hardware that allows a diver to breathe from a tank. It has been fun learning how all the gear works and how all the pieces fit together. The work is pretty repetitive, but I can do it sitting in the shade, which is preferable to carrying heavy things in the sun like everyone else.

The pad is so uncomfortable because the air is stagnant, which means the bugs don’t get blown away, and it gets hot. In fact, we have all been thrilled with the effects of tropical storm Ana and hurricane Bill. They passed by pretty close. Not enough to put us in danger, but just enough to send a rainy breeze across the island.

I like the smaller crew we have working now. We work long days, but as soon as dinner comes, we all put down the work and have fun. There is a party schedule for each night, which we don’t really follow, but it’s a nice idea. The food is so much better now that teenagers aren’t cooking in a boat galley.

We try our best to prevent pad fever by spicing things up with random activities. For example, I purchased my first speedo to wear around the pad and develop my tan lines. My Neapolitan tan is better than ever. We took a dinghy without a motor into the marina one night for a moonlight paddle with some drinks. When the current picked up a little bit, we decided to ditch the dinghy under a catamaran and walk back.

We have been trying unsuccessfully to hunt the crabs that live in the muck around the pad. Justin built a trap with a door and a French flag (because the crabs are French, of course) and used Fritos to entice them, but these are smart crabs. Or we are dumb hunters. I will keep you posted on the hunts.

The one thing that hasn’t changed from boat life is the music selection. It drives me crazy. On the boats, the kids had a handful of songs that they listened to over and over. At the pad, the staff does the same thing. Every hour, I hear the same two songs played in order. First, Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show. Second, The General by Dispatch. On the boat, the kids played bad music repeatedly, which was unfortunate. But it turns out that playing good songs repeatedly is even worse! I used to love this music, and now when I hear it I want to drown myself.

We had one day off this week during which we visited the other side of St. Martin. We rented a car for about $30 and crammed 9 people inside. Keep in mind this is a little eurocar, not an American boat. So on the way across the island, we encountered a hill. The car started jumping, and Dave warned us that we might have to bail. The car stalled, and the driver behind us was shocked to see how many people piled out to push the car up the rest of the hill.

When we finally arrived, we parked and explored. The town is a cruise ship port, so there are tons of duty free shops. Some people bought computers and hard drives. I bought a pair of headphones with the cash advance on my paycheck. When we got back to the parking spot, the car was gone. Turns out it wasn’t a parking spot, so all 9 of us had to explore the city to find the car. That was fun.

When we did find our car, we drove to the airport. The St. Martin airport landing strip is literally across the street from the beach. There are bars on either side, and people spend the day drinking and watching planes take off. Departing planes basically take off from the beach, so for each departure, people line up to get blown away by the jet blast.

The power was amazing. If you have never stood directly behind a 747 taking off, it is quite an experience. My sunglasses were ripped from my face, and I was blown down the beach helplessly. It was like a bomb went off. First there was confusion and shock. Then in the aftermath, people stumbled around looking for lost children or articles of clothing in the ocean. Then everyone returns to the bars to wait for the next flight.

I was worried about breakdown, but it is actually a good time. The people are great, the work is interesting (for now), and the food is tasty. I go to bed tired and wake up rested. The only thing that could be better is if we had a hurricane to battle. I say that half-jokingly, but part of me is a little disappointed that Bill veered away from us. I will just have to stick to earthquakes as my natural disaster of choice.

My second voyage has come to a close, which means it’s time to enjoy my first beer in two months and some sleep before embarking on the long sail from St. Lucia to St. Martin. I can’t take motion sickness drugs because they will make me drowsy for my graveyard shifts at the helm, so I am dreading the 50-hour nausea that I have to look forward to. I baked some biscuits this morning so I have something to munch on to take my mind off the sea, and I am stocked up on energy drinks and chocolate for the long and lonely nights.

This group was great. I could relate better to them, maybe because they were older, which made all the activities more fun even though it was my second time on the trip. We had some of the same issues, like some people who were very reluctant to clean or do homework. Something I also noticed with both groups was pretty severe homophobia and the tendency to resort to physical threats to get things done much more so than when I was in high school. Maybe the times are a’changing, but it seems more likely that growing up in the Bay Area bubble is catching up with me.

The diving has been great. We did nine dives in one day at Bequia, which were all beautiful. These dives have some amazing terrain, like coral walls and big rock outcrops. We spent some time with sea turtles on a few of the dives, coincidentally on the same day that we visited the turtle sanctuary on Bequia to help clean the holding tanks.

We had a big storm come through the islands while we were at St. Vincent. The rain made the water pretty murky on the surface, which made diving below the mud very interesting. We did our best to wait for the lightning to pass, but there were a few strikes that we could see from the water, which was exciting.

This group enjoys long safety stops. After every deep dive, we are required to spend three minutes at 15 feet to prevent decompression sickness, but this group sometimes spends up to half an hour playing in shallow water before surfacing. You might wonder why anyone would rather spend half an hour on a sand patch than ten extra minutes exploring a reef. Some favorite activities include stealing a diver’s fins, purging a neighbor’s regulator, playing catch with a toypedo, and attempting to join a school of fish. It’s a fun way to unwind after a long day of diving.

We went on a brutal hike last week on Gran Piton. I have done longer hikes before, but never so steep. This hike was straight up. My legs were gelatinous before I got to the top, which made getting down even worse. But the view was incredible. Seeing all of St. Lucia from the peak of Gran Piton made the subsequent week of sore legs worth bearing.

Time to get the boat filled up, cleaned, and ready to sail. And I need to spend $5 more to get rid of my Eastern Caribbean dollars. Or keep them as souveniers?

We dove the underwater sculptures at the end of the first trip, so this group got to dive them at the beginning of the trip. We spent a few days at the site because one of the girls needed to spend a few days at the nearby hospital, so we explored the bay thoroughly. On one of the night dives, I had a crazy nightmare moment.

We were exploring the creepy sculpture garden, and I looked to my right with the flashlight, and I suddenly saw a giant worm. It looked like a centipede, but it was not a few inches long. This thing was at least a meter long. It was so strange because when I looked at it, it stayed still for just a second, then vanished into the coral.

At first I had to wonder if I had actually seen this monster. I looked behind me, and no one else was reacting like I was, which supported my hypothesis that I needed sleep. The next day, I opened up a book to identify the thing. And guess what I found? No joke: the thing is called “the thing.” It is a giant worm, several inches across, that can grow to six feet long! The book says they are uncommon, which helps to explain my surprise. The encounter definitely gave me chills.

The new crew is a blast. We have been having lots of fun together. We had a fun hike up to a pretty waterfall a few days ago. The hike was like walking through a petting zoo. We were practically bushwhacking through jungle, but every once in a while we would enter a clearing occupied by an animal. The funny thing was that all the animals were straight out of a children’s book. As if on cue, the cow said “moo,” and the donkey said “hee-haw.” Maybe you had to be there.

At St. George’s, I decided I was getting too warm, so I went to a barber shop for a trim. This was my first experience at a black barber shop, and I loved it. I couldn’t understand anything they said to me, so I couldn’t really tell the guy what I wanted him to do, but it came out great. He gave me a black man’s haircut. First, he picked my ‘fro. Then, he faded the edges. And last, he gave me lines.

Janice at my St. Louis barber shop always told me that she wanted to give me lines, but that they looked better on brothers. Turns out she was right. The detailed hairlines did look a little bit silly on me, but I felt cool anyways. For less than $10 I got a sweet haircut, and it wasn’t just a quick buzz. This barber was proud of his work. I might have to start using black barber shops more when I get home. The haircut concluded with a spray of alcohol or something. I must have missed the warning through the accent, because it burned my eyes for a couple hours afterward.

This is the last big town we will visit for a while, so I have to go stock up on contraband and pizza. Farewell.

Our days off between trips have been lots of fun. We got some much needed rest, ate some decent food, played dominoes, and even found time for a dive. We were looking for a wrecked cruise ship, but the visibility wasn’t great. We descended 120 feet into the deep blue, which was exciting, then explored a little bit unsuccessfully before surfacing.

The site was three miles off the coast of Grenada, so we had a little boat ride to get back to our anchorage. Midway through the trip, we spotted a pod of dolphins. I think it is the biggest pod I have ever seen. Probably 40 or 50 dolphins of all sizes.

Soon, the dolphins were swimming all around the boat, playing in our wake and jumping between the hulls of the catamaran. The dolphins were literally close enough to reach out and touch. Sometimes, one of them would jump clear out of the water and spin around as if it were performing for us. They swam with us for a good half hour before continuing on their journey.

The new kids arrive tonight, so we spent today cleaning the boat that was supposedly cleaned by the old group. We said goodbye to Daniel’s family and thanked them for all the delicious dinners and nights of dominoes. I feel rested and excited for the trip back to St. Lucia!

The first program is winding down. We have arrived at our final island, Grenada, known as “the spice island” for all the spices grown here. Today we visited a spice plantation and sampled some nutmeg, cocoa, cinnamon, and cloves. It has been a busy week since the last update, so I will get right into it.

We spent a few days at Tobago Cays doing rescue diver skills. Supposedly, we visited the island that Jack Sparrow gets marooned on, but I didn’t really recognize it. I will have to watch the movie again to compare.

Teaching the rescue course is a lot of fun. The best part is running surprise emergency scenarios for the kids to respond to. They love playing victim, particularly the panicked diver. Basically, it’s an excuse to assault your rescuer, and these students love beating each other up.

We have finally been seeing some cool creatures on dives. We saw a few spotted eagle rays which are one of my favorite animals to swim with. They really look like eagles soaring through the water in slow motion.

I am less excited that the barracudas have started following us. They are the gangsters of the sea. They just lurk with their mouths open, showing their teeth. I had one of the scariest moments of my dive career recently. I was keeping an eye on a sea gangster on my right while I was bringing up the rear of the group. As I turned to glance forward to check in on the group, I was suddenly confronted with a sea gangster in my face!

We had a great night dive a few nights ago. One of the best I have ever been on, actually. There are certain animals you only expect to see on night dives, and we basically saw them all. Octopus, squid, lobster, rays, and many more. Just when you thought the dive couldn’t get any better, some new creature would pop into the flashlight beam.

We also had one of my favorite day dives recently. We swam around a small island, and there was some current, but we found a little cavern in the side of the island. On the inside, we surfaced, and the cavern was illuminated only by the blue light that came in from underneath us. Then on the other side of the cavern, we swam out and the floor suddenly dropped out from underneath us into the deep blue, and we finished the dive alongside a beautiful wall of coral.

I have become very fond of wire coral. On some of our deeper dives, we have seen long green tendrils that make you feel like you are in some enchanted forest. When I swim through them, I wouldn’t be surprised if a fairy popped out to greet me. Actually I think on the same dive, I saw my first school of trunkfish. I seem them all the time individually, but a school was unusual. After a few hundred dives, seeing something new is always exciting.

Last diving anecdote. There is an artist who has created an underwater sculpture garden here in Grenada. In this bay, there are large fingers of coral separated by patches of sand, and in the sand there are eerie sculptures. I guess the only thing that makes them eerie is that they are underwater. Anyways, the dive is beautiful, and it is fun to explore and see how many you can find.

I had passionfruit for the first time recently, and I love it. It looks absolutely disgusting. Like something you would expect to see a Klingon eating (yes, that was a Star Trek reference) except delicious. I didn’t even realize that I had never really seen a passionfruit despite all the times I have had it is smoothies or juice. And I have finally found my other favorite Caribbean treat, genips!

While we were taking a driving tour of Grenada today, the driver knew almost everyone we passed, and he described that you tend to recognize everyone when you live on a small island. Then he pointed to a passing car, and told us that it was the former prime minister, which I thought was funny. Then a couple hours later, after a hike and more driving, a car with flags passed, and he honked at it, exclaiming, “there goes our prime minister!” So I am kinda a big deal, is what I am trying to say.

We couldn’t find a pizza place today, so I had to settle for KFC for lunch. Clean the boat tomorrow, then the kids fly out on Sunday. We will have a lot of work to do between trips, but there should also be some time to unwind. We certainly need it. Then the new group arrives, and the journey back to St. Lucia begins. Hard to believe I am halfway through the summer already!

On a long sail in the middle of the night, I glanced upward to try to keep myself awake and serendipitously found the sky. It was amazing. Stars actually twinkle when there is no pollution or city lights around. I could see the Milky Way like I was in a planetarium. There are too many shooting stars to count. If it weren’t for the periodic mist of the waves, I could have mistaken the boat for a spaceship.

I am officially on program now. We have ten students on board with us. They are pretty incompetent, almost to the point of amusement. I am thankful that I was never sixteen. But the kids are a lot of fun. There has been a bug going around the boat, and I am currently under the weather with the group, but everyone seems to be in good spirits.

Some kids are less interested in diving than others. I have been on a few dives with just two students, but we can usually convince about eight of them to join us. Kristen prefers the morning dives, and I prefer the evening dives, which works out nicely. The rescue diver course begins soon, which I am excited to teach. Some of the students are ready, others will need some motivation.

I was stressed out about finding a place to sleep once the kids arrived, but I have settled into my new bedroom: the kitchen. I put a cushion between the stove and refrigerator, which is a hot and stinky place to sleep, but it is one of the only spots that can accommodate me. I am a sprawler at night, so I need all the space I can get.

I am writing now from Bequia. We are anchored in a nice port, which is a huge relief after our last few destinations. The boat boys in the Eastern Caribbean can be quite aggressive. When we visited the Pirates of the Caribbean set, four dinghies pulled up to help us tie knots, and then demanded $20EC in payment for each knot. According to Daniel, you don’t have much choice because making boat boys angry when you are alone in their bay is a bad idea.

The boat boys of Bequia have been much better. Many are legitimate businesses. Rather than coming on to your boat uninvited to sell fruit and jewelry, you can actually telephone or radio for a delivery of water, gas, or even laundry. The kids seem to be amused by the aggressive boat boys, but as an instructor responsible for the gear on board and the kids, it is a relief to be in a crowded port.

Some diving highlights: When Kristen and I were exploring a cave for the kids to dive later that day, we got in the water to set the dinghy anchor. We were barely more than an arm’s reach away from each other when a dense school of silver fish swarmed us. I literally couldn’t see anything around me because the fish were packed so close together surrounding me.

We haven’t seen many big creatures yet aside from a couple rays, but taking the time to slow down to look for small things has been rewarding. My favorite dive so far was a spectacular wall. The islands here all plummet into the water, so a hundred feet from shore can be 6,000 feet deep. This particular wall was actually an overhang, so there was coral above us as we swam. Lots of fun.

I tried to grow a mustache for a while, inspired by repeated references to Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. It was coming along nicely, but I noticed that it was letting water into my mask while diving. I understand that high fashion comes at a price, but I unfortunately had to shave to ensure a good seal so I could actually see things while diving.

Today we are being hit by a few squalls. Every few hours a big wet gust of wind batters the boat. We have broken the rope that holds the anchor chain a few times, which is always exciting. For the few occasions that we make it to land, everyone seems to crave pizza. For some reason, Caribbean pizza is always great. Seriously, I have been to five or six pizza places over the years and I love them all.

Before I return to the boat, I have to stock up on some contraband. Kristen and I have frequent chocolate cravings, but we don’t allow the kids to bring candy on board, so we have to sneak it on. Let’s hope this break in the rain lasts…

After 50 straight hours on the open sea, I have learned that I am not a sailor. I was seasick half the trip, and asleep for the other half, but it was quite an experience. Kristen, Daniel and I took shifts on watch for three hours on, six hours off around the clock.

The shifts in the middle of the night are brutal. I only had my music to keep me company, and it was a battle to stay awake. It wasn’t all terrible though. There were some whales following us for a few miles that I made friends with. The sunsets were beautiful. The night we pulled into St. Lucia, just before it got dark, there were fluffy clouds so low I thought the mast might cut through them.

The highlight of the sail for me was when my seasickness spontaneously vanished an hour before arriving, and Daft Punk came on. I stood up at the helm with the faint glow of the island in the distance and danced in the rain as the boat rolled over the ocean swells. For that last hour, I was in the zone.

Kristen is one of the most politically incorrect people I have ever met (wouldn’t survive a day among San Francisco pseudo-hippies), and Daniel is a self-proclaimed religious nut, but despite all odds we get along great. Since we arrived, we have been getting the boat ready for the kids. Unfortunately, we arrived on a weekend when everything is closed, so we are going to take the day off tomorrow to celebrate Father’s Day.

Errands will be interesting. The Caribbean accent is so thick that I barely recognize it as English. Really, I didn’t know it was my language until I heard a few key words that I recognized while we were clearing customs. It doesn’t sound like a Bob Marley song; it sounds more like a Russian Parkinson’s patient trying to speak French. But it’s not like we have anything important to do. Just need to fix the rip in the main sail, buy fresh food to eat, and get cell phones that work.

We have some fun neighbors here in the harbor. On the starboard side, there is a French family that is always naked. There are two boys who scurry around the deck of their boat all day, and it’s amazing they don’t get tired! They seem content to spend every minute of every day playing naked French pirate games.

Off the bow, we have Daniel’s family. We have spend the last few nights with them, and they are wonderful hosts. I have learned some fun domino games and eaten some good food with them, but my favorite part of going there is listening to them talk to each other in their South African accents. A large amount of the conversation is saying “yah” to each other. Oh, and they listen to musicals late into the night, which is the ideal neighbor in life if you ask me.

Off the stern there is a couple with a baby. The guy always wears a sweater, and they do everything manually. Instead of a 2 or 4 horsepower dinghy like most boats have, he rows to shore. Instead of a windlass, he pulls up the anchor by hand. I’m sure he gets in the water to push the boat rather than starting the engines.

Next chance I get to post, we will have eleven 14-16 year olds on board. Soon, we will be at my favorite spot in the Caribbean. On the other side of St. Lucia, there are two big pitons that shoot out of the water. You can be an idiot photographer like me and it would still be impossible to take a bad picture of the place. The pitons continue below the water, and there is a nice drift dive we get to do around them.

Lots to look forward to. I haven’t been doing a good job with my camera, but hopefully I can steal some photos from the kids at the end of the summer and make an album.

Today as I was scrubbing rust off a sink at the pad, a fellow dive instructor asked me, “how do you like being here, doing this, with a college degree in neuroscience?” I thought about it, and all I could say is that the “being here” makes the “doing this” tolerable.

The Caribbean is still beautiful, and the pad is still a tortuous residence. Instead of living in a tent, I have been upgraded to a cot in the attic of a hot shack with the rest of the staff. But there are perks to being staff this year. First, I get my own life jacket. Second… ok I guess that was the main perk.

The first couple weeks here are spent preparing for the kids to arrive. Everyone has some task to specialize in. Anders does regulators, Kristen does tanks, and I do compressors. It has been really interesting learning a little bit about diesel engines. I feel like such a man when I finish the day covered in oil and exhaust and blood. But beyond learning something new, this job kinda sucks.

I work alone behind the pad where the noise of the compressors doesn’t bother people as much. There is a tent overhead to protect the compressors from rain. It works, but it also means that there is no air circulation. I usually run four compressors at a time, so the carbon monoxide makes me ignorant of the deafening roar and I spend the day in a toxic stupor.

I just have to keep my eyes on the prize. The day begins at 7, but as soon as the clock strikes five, we put down our tools and get in the water. Sometimes we just go to the beach, sometimes wakeboard, and other times we dive. Then come back to the pad, crack some beers, eat, lounge, and sleep. A couple nights ago we drank rum while watching Pirates of the Caribbean and pointed out all the places in the movie we will go on our trip.

I will be leading a trip down in the Grenadines, and I can’t wait. My co-leads are Kristen and Daniel, who are both great. The three of us sail 50 hours down from St. Martin next week together, which will be a blast. For now, we are still working on stocking our boat and fixing equipment for our eight week journey.

We went on a fun dive today before dinner. Actually, it is a terrible dive site, so the only reason it was fun is that I had such low expectations. I have done this dive many times before, and never really see anything noteworthy. Today, we saw one small rock under which there were seven lobster and a moray eel. Also learned what a cyphoma is.

Oh, and for those of you who remember my crazy waist tan line from last summer, you would love the new one. I call it the Neapolitan. Chocolate on top (tan). Vanilla on bottom (pale). And strawberry in the middle (burned). Apparently I have been wearing my shorts lower than usual, which explains the strawberry.

Probably won’t have anything interesting to write until the real trip starts. Until then, it is safe to assume I am sore and wounded and miserable from 7-5, then relieved and content from 5-10. Shoot me an email so I have something to read next time I find a computer!